There are so many things running through my head.
So many things that shouldn't be said.
I still love you and I don't know why.
I just think of us; what we used to be,
And it makes me cry.
After all the shit that you put me through,
You'd think by now I would've stopped loving you.
I've tried to hate,
And I've tried to ignore.
I've tried to pretend like I didn't love you anymore.
It's inevitable that one day I WILL say goodbye,
But right now I can't
And I don't know why
6/4/10
The ending
Sorry for all the wrong I did,
I just didn't know how to handle it.
I went to you to get away,
knowing that I wouldn't stay.
Now we're just so far apart,
and that's the ending
When it didn't even start.
I just didn't know how to handle it.
I went to you to get away,
knowing that I wouldn't stay.
Now we're just so far apart,
and that's the ending
When it didn't even start.
My baby girl
My baby girl with your cute little smile,
I can't help but to sit and stare a while.
My baby girl with your little white bow,
you're my dream come true,
my little miracle that I love so.
My baby girl,
You make my life full of joy and color.
My baby girl,
I love you
And I'm proud to be your mother.
I can't help but to sit and stare a while.
My baby girl with your little white bow,
you're my dream come true,
my little miracle that I love so.
My baby girl,
You make my life full of joy and color.
My baby girl,
I love you
And I'm proud to be your mother.
No guarantee
My head hurts and my stomach is in knots as tears drip down my face,
knowing what has to be done but hating it all because no one could take his place.
Caught up in love, lies, agony, and dispair,
what else can I do but say goodbye and end this whole affair.
It doesn't make me happy and it's truly not what I want to do,
but decisions have to be made and I don't want them to be based on me and you.
I wish it could be different and I could promise you how things would be,
but this whole thing is one big risk with no real guarantee.
knowing what has to be done but hating it all because no one could take his place.
Caught up in love, lies, agony, and dispair,
what else can I do but say goodbye and end this whole affair.
It doesn't make me happy and it's truly not what I want to do,
but decisions have to be made and I don't want them to be based on me and you.
I wish it could be different and I could promise you how things would be,
but this whole thing is one big risk with no real guarantee.
A man more than a friend
A place I want to be
A touch that won't fade
A face I want to see.
A hand I want to hold
A hug I want to last
A talk I'll remember
A person from the past.
A kiss I can't forget
A walk long ago
A secret that is kept
A love that wants to grow.
A memory miles away
A thought that has no end
A dream with no imperfections
A man more than a friend.
Distance
Silence Sweeps through the room
Thoughts rush to my head
Anxiously awaiting tomorrow
as I lay here in bed.
I stare into the darkness
My eyes grow heavy and dreams begin
Playing out all of my feelings and fantasies that I hold deep within.
Sometimes I never want to awake
because I know in reality it will someday end.
So for now I'll be with you
as much as time allows us to spend.
You're so close to my heart
yet so very far away
But for now
Distance will remain a red light
between tomorrow and today.
Thoughts rush to my head
Anxiously awaiting tomorrow
as I lay here in bed.
I stare into the darkness
My eyes grow heavy and dreams begin
Playing out all of my feelings and fantasies that I hold deep within.
Sometimes I never want to awake
because I know in reality it will someday end.
So for now I'll be with you
as much as time allows us to spend.
You're so close to my heart
yet so very far away
But for now
Distance will remain a red light
between tomorrow and today.
What I see
You'll never feel what I feel,
Or see how I see.
So go ahead and judge me,
for if I were you, I would not fail to disagree.
You have never worn my shoes, so I will not expect you to know.
I unintentionally caused hurt and pain, so I can understand your reasoning for asking me to go.
Although it may seem that I chose one over the other, it's a whole different concept to me.
But you do not think the way that I do and this is the reason that you do not see.
Or see how I see.
So go ahead and judge me,
for if I were you, I would not fail to disagree.
You have never worn my shoes, so I will not expect you to know.
I unintentionally caused hurt and pain, so I can understand your reasoning for asking me to go.
Although it may seem that I chose one over the other, it's a whole different concept to me.
But you do not think the way that I do and this is the reason that you do not see.
6/3/10
Blogging Poetry
So I decided to set up an account today with lulu.com. Thought it could be a good place to store my poems. I wanted to share them with you guys. I love writing poetry...Let's blog!
Trouble
Trouble is stirring in the air tonight.
My eyes are open and my thoughts are bright.
Minx is I to whom he refers.
"Photo's" he says; it's what he prefers.
I ponder the impulse; for I to should have a place to circumscribe.
"Do you hear that?" he asks, and then uses psychology to bribe.
Oh no, what have I done? Have I gone to far, pass that place of which I should shun?
"Have fun" he says, as I try to relax.
But my words are less than that of my acts.
I guess I heard it because we parted away;
hesitant to return on another day.
My eyes are open and my thoughts are bright.
Minx is I to whom he refers.
"Photo's" he says; it's what he prefers.
I ponder the impulse; for I to should have a place to circumscribe.
"Do you hear that?" he asks, and then uses psychology to bribe.
Oh no, what have I done? Have I gone to far, pass that place of which I should shun?
"Have fun" he says, as I try to relax.
But my words are less than that of my acts.
I guess I heard it because we parted away;
hesitant to return on another day.
Anger
I can't control my anger and I want to cry.
This is when things start to fly.
I just want to break what ever I see, and I really don't like this part of me.
Sometimes I'll say things that I don't mean, but it's really hard to hold back the things I scream.
To be this way hurts so bad and when I'm hurt it makes me mad.
So please forgive the things I do or say;
but none of this would have happened if I had it my way.
This is when things start to fly.
I just want to break what ever I see, and I really don't like this part of me.
Sometimes I'll say things that I don't mean, but it's really hard to hold back the things I scream.
To be this way hurts so bad and when I'm hurt it makes me mad.
So please forgive the things I do or say;
but none of this would have happened if I had it my way.
The Journey
Driving 70 miles per hour through the never ending night.
Approach it with caution or go left when all the signs say right.
Care not where you might end up.
At least you won't arrive with a half filled cup.
Approach it with caution or go left when all the signs say right.
Care not where you might end up.
At least you won't arrive with a half filled cup.
How I feel
Don't fuck with me, Don't fuck with my pride,
Don't fuck with my emotions, Stop trying to hide.
Don't fuck with my heart; We're supposed to keep it real.
Now I'll do the fucking and tell you how I feel.
You'll never stand up and be true to what you say.
You take responsibility? Yeah, that'll be the day!
These days are never going to come, You know, the ones when you'll be a man instead of living as a bum.
You're nothing but a coward, a lair, a fake.
So no longer will I be the one who you manipulate.
It's sad to see the choices you make and the friends you choose.
And I won't go down with you to have my life sung in the blues.
You always blamed everything on me, I know, It's cool.
But I will sit around no more to be made your fool.
It's my life now and I'll do what I want, just know that I wasn't the one who was trying to stunt.
So no longer can you fuck with me, Or my pride.
I have no more emotions and I don't care if you hide.
You can't fuck with my heart because I kept it real.
You lost out and that's how I feel.
Don't fuck with my emotions, Stop trying to hide.
Don't fuck with my heart; We're supposed to keep it real.
Now I'll do the fucking and tell you how I feel.
You'll never stand up and be true to what you say.
You take responsibility? Yeah, that'll be the day!
These days are never going to come, You know, the ones when you'll be a man instead of living as a bum.
You're nothing but a coward, a lair, a fake.
So no longer will I be the one who you manipulate.
It's sad to see the choices you make and the friends you choose.
And I won't go down with you to have my life sung in the blues.
You always blamed everything on me, I know, It's cool.
But I will sit around no more to be made your fool.
It's my life now and I'll do what I want, just know that I wasn't the one who was trying to stunt.
So no longer can you fuck with me, Or my pride.
I have no more emotions and I don't care if you hide.
You can't fuck with my heart because I kept it real.
You lost out and that's how I feel.
Rhyme
Please stop calling, just go away.
I don't want you anymore, I mean what I say.
I'm not coming back and this time it's real.
Leave me alone, I don't care how you feel.
Stop leaving me messages, stop tying up my line.
Stop sending me texts and I'll be just fine.
Stop calling my friends, get out of my life.
Stop being nosy, I'm not your wife.
The begging won't work, the crying is pretend.
What do I have to do to make you comprehend.
I'm not going to listen, so don't waste your time.
And I hope you understand why I wrote this Rhyme.
I don't want you anymore, I mean what I say.
I'm not coming back and this time it's real.
Leave me alone, I don't care how you feel.
Stop leaving me messages, stop tying up my line.
Stop sending me texts and I'll be just fine.
Stop calling my friends, get out of my life.
Stop being nosy, I'm not your wife.
The begging won't work, the crying is pretend.
What do I have to do to make you comprehend.
I'm not going to listen, so don't waste your time.
And I hope you understand why I wrote this Rhyme.
The warning
There seldom comes a time
when you must leave my side.
And though I may not like it,
I seldom will abide.
But before I choose to agree,
I'll have to overcome my jealousy.
You're mine
and you're sometimes hard to share.
But I have to understand that you need your time,
and I need to be fair.
I just love you so much,
and I always want you here.
So I wanted to write you this poem
to make one thing a little bit clear.
Freedom once a month is all you should need,
Leave me again
and this warning you should heed.
You left me tonight to go have your fun.
If it happens again,
I'll be waiting with a gun.
when you must leave my side.
And though I may not like it,
I seldom will abide.
But before I choose to agree,
I'll have to overcome my jealousy.
You're mine
and you're sometimes hard to share.
But I have to understand that you need your time,
and I need to be fair.
I just love you so much,
and I always want you here.
So I wanted to write you this poem
to make one thing a little bit clear.
Freedom once a month is all you should need,
Leave me again
and this warning you should heed.
You left me tonight to go have your fun.
If it happens again,
I'll be waiting with a gun.
The ripening
A peach,
so soft and tender to the touch
be gentle and guard it from bruises and such.
A peach,
wanting to enjoy the great satisfaction from the things that it provides,
eagerly waiting for it to ripen from the place in which it resides.
A peach,
patiently waiting for its owner to wash
Its green leaves are falling, hoping to be squashed.
A peach,
hold it dearly and love it steady
Wait for it, wait for it…Aahh, now it is ready.
so soft and tender to the touch
be gentle and guard it from bruises and such.
A peach,
wanting to enjoy the great satisfaction from the things that it provides,
eagerly waiting for it to ripen from the place in which it resides.
A peach,
patiently waiting for its owner to wash
Its green leaves are falling, hoping to be squashed.
A peach,
hold it dearly and love it steady
Wait for it, wait for it…Aahh, now it is ready.
Acceptance
Painful is that of which I lust
Impermissible is their thought toward it, but for you I'd thrust.
Acceptance is all we really need.
But for me, it's not from them- to be able to proceed.
Impermissible is their thought toward it, but for you I'd thrust.
Acceptance is all we really need.
But for me, it's not from them- to be able to proceed.
Stalling
Trying to think of what to write
but nonsense is all that is in my head.
Thought about it through the night
but the best ideas don't always come while lying in bed.
I sat up for a while and thought about it more,
but thoughts of you were all that I couldn't ignore.
Now here I am still, sunshine and all.
What progress have I made?
This is where I stall...
but nonsense is all that is in my head.
Thought about it through the night
but the best ideas don't always come while lying in bed.
I sat up for a while and thought about it more,
but thoughts of you were all that I couldn't ignore.
Now here I am still, sunshine and all.
What progress have I made?
This is where I stall...
A late night phone call
You're sexy, you're suave, collected and smart.
You're caring, you're nurturing…truly a work of art.
I admire you and all that you are
And my thoughts of you seem to travel far.
You drive me crazy and at times I'm lost in admiration.
Forgive me for my demeanor and entice me into temptation.
Just look my way one time more,
but willingly,
for I mean not to implore.
Come to me, let me give you pleasure.
Each moment with you is one that I treasure.
Go away now, it can mean nothing at all.
The most we can remain…a late night phone call.
You're caring, you're nurturing…truly a work of art.
I admire you and all that you are
And my thoughts of you seem to travel far.
You drive me crazy and at times I'm lost in admiration.
Forgive me for my demeanor and entice me into temptation.
Just look my way one time more,
but willingly,
for I mean not to implore.
Come to me, let me give you pleasure.
Each moment with you is one that I treasure.
Go away now, it can mean nothing at all.
The most we can remain…a late night phone call.
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